Portfolio Parent Questions

What piece of writing did you like best in my portfolio and why? 

my favorite piece of writing was "words from the heart" because the author was able to share a part of herself and connect with readers in a very personal way. 

What did you like about my portfolio and sharing and what would you like to see me improve on?

I like that there was some excellent research and information presented in a clear and logical way with a good flow.  It was also relevant and current.  The personal pieces gave a glimpse into who the writer is.  I think careful proofreading would help to decrease or eliminate grammatical error, a simple but important step to take writing to the next level.

Which of the writing traits (ideas, organization, voice, word choice) do you feel was most successful for me?

In the personal reflective pieces word choice was excellent, while it seemed a little weaker in the research piece.  All articles seemed well thought out and organized, but overall, my favorite trait is the originality of the ideas.

Which of the traits of writing would you like me to improve on in the coming semester?

As answered above, would like to see correction of minor grammatical errors.

KC3: An Occupied Park Bench (Final)

Some things in life simply go unappreciated such as as a best friend to whisper secrets to everyday or the accommodation of a roof over your head In America, there are 610,042 people that can’t afford that luxury, they must occupy a park bench to use as a bed and a tattered newspaper as a blanket. In Hawaii, there are 4,700 homeless people and it has been a rising epidemic for many years and although many actions have been implemented in hopes of improving homelessness, none have proven significant enough to dramatically fix a difficult situation. Hawaii is already a very populated, there is approximately 1.404 million people, and the numbers aren’t getting any fewer and homelessness contributes to the problem of overpopulation. Homelessness is mainly cause by substance abuse and mental illness. Over ⅔ of Hawaii’s homeless population is because of substance abuse (it is easy to get drugs and alcohol in Hawaii) and mental illness. Even further, Hawaii’s veterans homeless population is one of the worst in the nation. Sadly, the main concern (of officials) is not to find homeless homes, it is to get them off the streets and out of the view of tourist.  Due to the high cost of living and Hawaii’s nice weather, homelessness has increased greatly in Hawaii contributing to the problem of overpopulation.

Mainland officials are giving homeless people in their states one way tickets to Hawaii because of the more comfortable lifestyle that Hawaii can offer (doesn’t get too cold). All over the country, mainland states have been sending their homeless population to Hawaii in order to receive government benefits. However that only over crowds Hawaii even further decreasing it’s beauty and the state attraction sites for visitors. Some states that have participated in this unlawful practice are California, Michigan, and New York. A few years ago Detroit was buying plane tickets for homeless people in the motor city - and sending them here to Honolulu. Great, their idea was, "At least they will be warm, in paradise, and we will get rid of them!" Since then, Duke Aiona preached during his campaign that he has already sent warnings to the other 49 states warning. However, many states ignore his warning and send them anyway. As a result, all the homeless being sent to Hawaii have been collected and are being sent back to their home states. Civil beat states that using this method with decrease the homeless population in Hawaii by 17,000 people in the upcoming years. New York first implemented this method by sending 550 of it’s homeless back to their homes such as Orlando, Paris, and San Juan. In conclusion, homeless people have been sent back and forth between stated but a large percentage of them tend to be anchored in Hawaii, increasing the population and causing more problems for the tropical islands.

High cost of living has made minimum wage workers unable to pay the exorbitant costs of renting or buying a home/apartment. The cost of living in Hawaii is 74.6% higher than national average. Due to this discouraging truth, the 325,000 employees that get paid $7.25 an hour (minimum wage) can not keep up with the rent, food, clothing, and necessity expenses. The end result, many families and individual end up on the street which means the houses they were evicted from goes back on sale and targets buyers that can afford the homes. Who are they? Wealthy owners on the mainland. Every year, about 55,145 outsiders move to Hawaii which increases the overall population by 14,184 people every year (due to some people that leave Hawaii yearly as well). Not only do mainlanders come in and buy the houses, but the prices continue to go up since many people are willing to pay almost anything to live here. Therefore, homelessness has surged by 32% in the past years congesting streets and demoralizing tourists from returning to Hawaii which will only hurt the economy even more. All in all, homeless in Hawaii is only getting worse due to the high cost of living in Hawaii because of the mainlanders enthusiasm to live here.

Many people the visit for things such as surfing competitions decide to stay in Hawaii because of the enjoyable weather and aloha spirit. Devin Goodwin, once an Alaskan resident used the last of his money and caught a plane straight Waikiki and has been living on the streets for five months (selling marijuana or begging for money). Goodwin came by chance, however many others that travel to Hawaii for what is planned as a visit choose to stay because the weather is nice and free access to beautiful beaches. Many homeless people don’t plan to abandon their life on the street because they want to fight against the officials who try and force them off the streets and hinder them from their rights. They also don’t trust moving in shelters because many of them have pets that shelters don’t allow and many of them retain bed bugs. Another homeless decided to stay after he enjoyed Hawaii’s welcoming spirit and weather during a winter visit to compete in a surfing competition. He doesn’t plan to give up his place on the streets either because he wants to oppose the officials who steal his property ( police take it away belongings and put it in storage and they have to pay to get it back). In conclusion much of the homeless population has arisen from outsiders who choose to stay in Hawaii after a visit, but can’t afford a place to live.

In Hawaii the amount of people is astounding. However, the amount of homeless roaming the streets and wreaking havoc on the city may be an even more devastating fact about the beautiful island of Hawaii. Every place no matter how gorgeous will carry it’s flaws, however Hawaii’s seem to be continuing to grow and grow and many officials are only putting a band aid on the problem rather than sitting down and trying to fix the problem. Therefore, due to the high cost of living and Hawaii’s nice weather, homelessness has increased greatly in Hawaii contributing to the problem of overpopulation. Although we have done an excellent job of covering the problem up (because tourists keep coming) we need to think of a permanent solution that will get families, veterans, and ill people off the streets. Homeless is a solvable issue that many officials should press to resolve so there will never be a homeless occupied park bench again.

An Occupied Park Bench

136,826 (CA), 29,615 (TX), 77,430 (NY), 1,946 (AK), 13,822 (OR), 953 (WY), 6,335 (HI) every state has a different number of people who don’t have a place to sleep at night, that must occupy a park bench to use as a bed and a tattered newspaper as a blanket. In America, there are 610,042 homeless people and a large percentage of them are families with children and adolescents. In Hawaii, homelessness has been a rising epidemic for many years and although many actions have been implemented in hopes of improving homelessness, none have proven significant enough to dramatically fix a difficult situation. Hawaii has became an over populous paradise and it has become a huge problem over the last decade, not only has homeless increased but so has cost of living, traffic, and the amount of pollution in Hawaii. In Hawaii, there is approximately 1.404 million people, and the numbers aren’t getting any fewer. Overpopulation was already a difficult topic to approach because officials didn’t want to initiate actions that would prevent people from coming here and homelessness is contributing to the problem. Homelessness is mainly cause by substance abuse and mental illness. Over ⅔ of Hawaii’s homeless population is because of substance abuse (it is easy to get drugs and alcohol in Hawaii) and mental illness. Even further, Hawaii’s veterans homeless population is one of the worst in the nation. Sadly, the main concern (of officials) is not to find homeless homes, it is to get them off the streets and out of the view of tourist.  Due to the high cost of living and Hawaii’s nice weather, homelessness has increased greatly in Hawaii contributing to the problem of overpopulation.

Mainland officials are giving homeless people in their states one way tickets to Hawaii because of the more comfortable lifestyle that Hawaii can offer (doesn’t get too cold). All over the country, mainland states have been sending their homeless population to Hawaii in order to receive government benefits. However that only over crowds Hawaii even further decreasing it’s beauty and the state attraction sites for visitors. Some states that have participated in this unlawful practice are California, Michigan, and New York. A few years ago Detroit was buying plane tickets for homeless people in the motor city - and sending them here to Honolulu. Great, their idea was, "At least they will be warm, in paradise, and we will get rid of them!" Since then, Duke Aiona preached during his campaign that he has already sent warnings to the other 49 states warning. However, many states ignore his warning and send them anyway. As a result, all the homeless being sent to Hawaii have been collected and are being sent back to their home states. Civil beat states that using this method with decrease the homeless population in Hawaii by 17,000 people in the upcoming years. New York first implemented this method by sending 550 of it’s homeless back to their homes such as Orlando, Paris, and San Jaun. In conclusion, homeless people have been sent back and forth between stated but a large percentage of them tend to be anchored in Hawaii, increasing the population and causing more problems for the tropical islands.

High cost of living has made minimum wage workers unable to pay the exorbitant costs of renting or buying a home/apartment. The cost of living in Hawaii is 74.6% higher than national average. Due to this discouraging truth, the 325,000 employees that get paid $7.25 an hour (minimum wage) can not keep up with the rent, food, clothing, and necessity expenses. The end result, many families and individual end up on the street which means the houses they were evicted from goes back on sale and targets buyers that can afford the homes. Who are they? Wealthy owners on the mainland. Every year, about 55,145 outsiders move to Hawaii which increases the overall population by 14,184 people every year (due to some people that leave Hawaii yearly as well). Not only do mainlanders come in and buy the houses, but the prices continue to go up since many people are willing to pay almost anything to live here. Therefore, homelessness has surged by 32% in the past years congesting streets and demoralizing tourists from returning to Hawaii which will only hurt the economy even more. All in all, homeless in Hawaii is only getting worse due to the high cost of living in Hawaii because of the mainlanders enthusiasm to live here.

Many people the visit for things such as surfing competitions decide to stay in Hawaii because of the enjoyable weather and aloha spirit. Devin Goodwin, once an Alaskan resident used the last of his money and caught a plane straight Waikiki and has been living on the streets for five months (selling marijuana or begging for money). Goodwin came by chance, however many others that travel to Hawaii for what is planned as a visit choose to stay because the weather is nice and free access to beautiful beaches. Many homeless people don’t plan to abandon their life on the street because they want to fight against the officials who try and force them off the streets and hinder them from their rights. They also don’t trust moving in shelters because many of them have pets that shelters don’t allow and many of them retain bed bugs. Another homeless decided to stay after he enjoyed Hawaii’s welcoming spirit and weather during a winter visit to compete in a surfing competition. He doesn’t plan to give up his place on the streets either because he wants to oppose the officials who steal his property ( police take it away belongings and put it in storage and they have to pay to get it back). In conclusion much of the homeless population has arisen from outsiders who choose to stay in Hawaii after a visit, but can’t afford a place to live.

In Hawaii the amount of people is astounding. However, the amount of homeless roaming the streets and wreaking havoc on the city may be an even more devastating fact about the beautiful island of Hawaii. Every place no matter how gorgeous will carry it’s flaws, however Hawaii’s seem to be continuing to grow and grow and many officials are only putting a band aid on the problem rather than sitting down and trying to fix the problem. Therefore, due to the high cost of living and Hawaii’s nice weather, homelessness has increased greatly in Hawaii contributing to the problem of overpopulation. Although we have done an excellent job of covering the problem up (because tourists keep coming) we need to think of a permanent solution that will get families, veterans, and ill people off the streets. Homeless is a solvable issue that many officials should press to resolve so there will never be a homeless occupied park bench again.

Querencia (Final)

             It's hard to imagine not having a place you can call your own or a place where anything and everything felt like it was just for you.  Being in the military, my family was always moving around to new cities and states and therefore right when a place felt right, we would pack up our things and move. I moved to Hawaii in 2008, and one of the first beaches I went to was Bellows beach. When I got there, I felt like it was just a place I was visiting. I couldn't believe that I actually lived in a place with such timeless beauty, it really was paradise. I ran for the sand and dug my toes into the soft smooth it, and gazed at the clear green/blue water that captured the essence of perfection. Bellows beach was so different from the beaches that I went to in Texas, they had rocky sand and brackish water with forests of brown seaweed that would entangle you if you tried to swim. It was also so different from the ones even in Hawaii, Waikiki tends to be overcrowded, while others had sharp rocks at the bottom...Bellows is unrivaled. When it was time to go, we lugged all the boogie boards to the car and threw damp beach towels over our shoulders. It was just another trip to the beach. 
             The more and more that I went to Bellows the more more it felt like a second home. Most people saw it as a beach, but for me it was a safe haven, a place that I could run to when I felt like the world was against me. I took all my mainland friends there, camped there, and got aching sunburns that caused my skin to peel there. Every time I drove through the Kaneohe tunnel and made my way to Bellows beach, stressful thoughts no longer lingered and when I dug my toes into the soft, smooth sand and gazed at the ocean I felt like it was the only place in the whole entire world, nothing else existed but the crumbling sandcastles and the laughter shared between family and friends. That's when I noticed how special Bellows beach was, it was a place we could all enjoy, a place where I could listen to waves crashing on the shore, wind blowing through the tall trees, and forget about about all my worries because there, they no longer existed. One of the most memorable times I went to Bellows was when I stayed in a tent for two nights family and best friend, we would take walks on the beach until the sun disappeared behind the mountain and roast marshmallows on the crackling fire. I woke up every morning with the sun, and swam in the powerful waves, that would push me to the shore every afternoon after breakfast. When the sun began to go down, we laid our clothes on the close line and argued about who would shower in the warm water before it got all used up for the evening. When night fell, we would wrap up in our sleeping bags and "sshh" each other to go to sleep because some of us were worn out from the long day while others seemed nocturnal, but ready for even more fun the next day.  
          Going to Bellows beach almost every chance I got really taught me a lot about the bond that family and friends can have with one another. Most of all, it taught me not to take things that bring you endless happiness for granted, at any moment the Army can station my dad in a different state or country and Bellows beach will seem like another distant place I had to leave behind, just like some places in Texas. So the next time, I go to Bellows and dig my toes in the sand and gaze at the ocean I will never neglect to remember how special this place is to me. I will never know when the world will stop moving and I can just kick back in my querencia forever. That's why the memories I form in at Bellows is what makes it so special because memories can't be replaced or be moved away from us, they thrive in the heart, just like a querencia should. 

Words From The Heart Graphic Card (Final)

Querencia: Special Place (1st draft)

"In our time together, you claimed a special place in my heart, one I'll carry with me forever and that no one can replace." Being in the military, my family was always moving around to new cities and states. I moved to Hawaii in 2008, and one of the first beaches I went to was Bellows beach. When I got there, I felt like it was just a place I was visiting. I couldn't believe that I actually lived in a place with such timeless beauty, it really was paradise. I ran for the sand and dug my toes into the soft smooth it, and gazed at the clear green/blue water that captured the essence of perfection. Bellows beach was so different from the beaches that I went to in Texas, they had rocky sand and brackish water with forests of brown seaweed that would entangle you if you tried to swim. When it was time to go, we lugged all the boogie boards to the car and threw damp beach towels over our shoulders. It was just another trip to the beach.               The more and more that I went to Bellows the more more it felt like a second home. I took all my mainland friends there, camped there, and got aching sunburns that caused my skin to peel there. Every time I drove through the Kaneohe tunnel and made my way to Bellows beach, stressful thoughts no longer lingered and when I dug my toes into the soft, smooth sand and gazed at the ocean I felt like it was the only place in the whole entire world, nothing else existed but the crumbling sandcastles and the laughter shared between family and friends. That's when I noticed how special Bellows beach was, it was a place we could all enjoy, a place where I could listen to waves crashing on the shore, wind blowing through the tall trees, and forget about about all my worries because there, they no longer existed. One of the most memorable times I went to Bellows was when I stayed in a tent for two nights family and best friend, we would take walks on the beach until the sun disappeared behind the mountain and roast marshmallows on the crackling fire. I woke up every morning with the sun, and swam in the powerful waves, that would push me to the shore every afternoon after breakfast. When the sun began to go down, we laid our clothes on the close line and argued about who would shower in the warm water before it got all used up for the evening. When night fell, we would wrap up in our sleeping bags and "sshh" each other to go to sleep because some of us were worn out from the long day while others seemed nocturnal, but ready for even more fun the next day.             Going to Bellows beach almost every chance I got really taught me a lot about the bond that family and friends can have with one another. Most of all, it taught me not to take things that bring you endless happiness for granted, at any moment the Army can station my dad in a different state or country and Bellows beach will seem like another distant place I had to leave behind, just like some places in Texas. So the next time, I go to Bellows and dig my toes in the sand and gaze at the ocean I will never neglect to remember how special this place is to me.

Words From the Heart Graphic Card (Draft)

The Purge

                  
                I walked into the dimly lit theater holding a bag of popcorn, the smell of butter and salt whizzed around the room as I reached for a tattered old seat. People around me where on their phones, their thumbs raced across the screen in perfect unison. The lights faded and the dramatic music began to fill the theater. The audience gasped quietly and huddled closer together as the horror movie, "The Purge." was about to begin. My hands shook nervously as I reached for a handful of salty, buttery popcorn. The movie commenced to a family bristly preparing for one of the scariest night of their lives.          
           "AAAAaaAAhHhHh!"  Screams and teeth chattering up-roared around me. I clutched the bag of popcorn closer to my chest, my eyes anxiously darted across the screen. The people around me cringed the sight of trickling blood and screams from the frightened family. The movie had finally ended and the lights slowly lit the once darkened theater. People had gotten up from their seats to stretch and whisper about how scary the movie was. I think everyone was glad that the purge isn't a real thing... yet.

A Special Place

My special place is Bellows beach because it relieves me of all my worries, clears my head, and I always make good memories with my friends and family when I go there. It it also one of the first beaches I went to when I moved here. 

Vocabulary Words: Aloof and Deluge

Words From The Heart (Final)

            "Oh she is so cute and cuddly like a teddy bear." My mom gushed to my dad. That is when I got the nickname; bear. Unlike my twin sister, I liked to be held and "cuddle" with my mom where as my sister would just arch her back like a gymnast going into a back bend when she didn't want to be held, which happened to be always. I never knew that as a baby, the name would stick with me to this day, but because my grandpa (Pop-Pop) is the biggest social butterfly you will ever meet, the name bear spread like a mixed contagion to my whole family, which started with a family of nine siblings, there was a lot of people. From then on every time the whole family meets up for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner and little kids would chase each other around the dinning table and their giggles would absorb through the walls and travel through the whole house. Or they would be making all these obnoxious noises like pounding keys on the grand piano until three in the morning or shaking Christmas gifts to guess the goody beyond the wrapping. The only way family members could get my attention over what sometimes felt like pandemonium, was to call me by my nickname because it didn't sound like any of my other cousins names. I wonder what will happen when they are trying to call Alexander or Alexandra. I didn't like it when I was called "bear" because then my cousins would treat me younger than my age.

          When my youngest sister Aspen was born, I was as excited as I was when I found out that I was going to Disney World. I strutted around my first grade class in my "I'm the biggest sister" (I'm the oldest of four) T-shirt and bragged about how I was gonna babysit her and feed her and change her diapers. I tried to teach her my name, but secretly my mom was teaching her "bear-bear" and that's what she called me her toddler years. Then my cousin was born and Aspen rubbed it off on her too. Now everyone in the family had become accustomed to calling me "bear" or "bear bear". Great. On one of my birthdays, they wrote "bear" on my cake and every birthday card I got said "dear bear", or "bear,". Every time my grandparents called me they would call me "bear" or when I visited them or they visited me, they called me "bear".  I visited them in Christmas one year when it snowed but instead of playing outside, I stayed huddled in a ball by the crackling fire and their excuse for my absence in the snow was that "bears hibernate during winter". 

        When I was younger I disliked it when they called me "bear" because everyone called me it and even today I crinkle my nose when ever my parents call me "bear" in front of my friends. However like other sayings or words we have in our family "Whatcha talking about Willis." "What's up" or "Oohhh!" with the eyelashes batting, it's our inside stories that connect us and give us stuff to talk about. So even though "bear"can get embarrassing or annoying at times, it came from a very special person to me and it was a word from her heart, so I will always keep it mine. Even though I know I will be stuck with the nickname forever, I am ok with it because that's the special connection I have made with my family. And maybe when I have a kid, I will call him/her baby bear and history will repeat itself.  

Words From The Heart (Rough Draft)

            

              "Oh she is so cute and cuddly like a teddy bear." My mom gushed to my dad. That is when I got the nickname; bear. Unlike my twin sister, I liked to be held and "cuddle" with my mom where as my sister would just arch her back like a gymnast going into a back bend when she didn't want to be held, which happened to be always. I never knew that as a baby, the name would stick with me to this day, but because my grandpa (Pop-Pop) is the biggest social butterfly you will ever meet, the name bear spread like a mixed contagion to my whole family, which started with a family of nine siblings, there was a lot of people. From then on every time the whole family meets up for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner and little kids would chase each other around the dinning table and their giggles would absorb through the walls and travel through the whole house. Or they would be making all these obnoxious noises like pounding keys on the grand piano until three in the morning or shaking Christmas gifts to guess the goody beyond the wrapping. The only way family members could get my attention over what sometimes felt like pandemonium, was to call me by my nickname because it didn't sound like any of my other cousins names. I wonder what will happen when they are trying to call Alexander or Alexandra. 

          When my youngest sister Aspen was born, I was as excited as I was when I found out that I was going to Disney World. I strutted around my first grade class in my "I'm the biggest sister" (I'm the oldest of four) T-shirt and bragged about how I was gonna babysit her and feed her and change her diapers. I tried to teach her my name, but secretly my mom was teaching her "bear-bear" and that's what she called me her toddler years. Then my cousin was born and Aspen rubbed it off on her too. Now everyone in the family had become accustomed to calling me "bear" or "bear bear". On one of my birthdays, they wrote "bear" on my cake and every birthday card I got said "dear bear", or "bear,". Every time my grandparents called me they would call me "bear" or when I visited them or they visited me, they called me "bear".  I visited them in Christmas one year when it snowed but instead of playing outside, I stayed huddled in a ball by the crackling fire and their excuse for my absence in the snow was that "bears hibernate during winter". 

        When I was younger I hated it when they called me "bear" because everyone called me it and even today I crinkle my nose when ever my parents call me "bear in front of my friends. However like other sayings or words we have in our family "Whatcha talking about Willis." "What's up" or "Oohhh!" with the eyelashes batting, it's our inside stories that connect us and give us stuff to talk about. So even though "bear"can get embarrassing or annoying at times, it came from a very special person to me and it was a word from her heart, so I will always keep it mine.