"In our time together, you claimed a special place in my heart, one I'll carry with me forever and that no one can replace." Being in the military, my family was always moving around to new cities and states. I moved to Hawaii in 2008, and one of the first beaches I went to was Bellows beach. When I got there, I felt like it was just a place I was visiting. I couldn't believe that I actually lived in a place with such timeless beauty, it really was paradise. I ran for the sand and dug my toes into the soft smooth it, and gazed at the clear green/blue water that captured the essence of perfection. Bellows beach was so different from the beaches that I went to in Texas, they had rocky sand and brackish water with forests of brown seaweed that would entangle you if you tried to swim. When it was time to go, we lugged all the boogie boards to the car and threw damp beach towels over our shoulders. It was just another trip to the beach.
The more and more that I went to Bellows the more more it felt like a second home. I took all my mainland friends there, camped there, and got aching sunburns that caused my skin to peel there. Every time I drove through the Kaneohe tunnel and made my way to Bellows beach, stressful thoughts no longer lingered and when I dug my toes into the soft, smooth sand and gazed at the ocean I felt like it was the only place in the whole entire world, nothing else existed but the crumbling sandcastles and the laughter shared between family and friends. That's when I noticed how special Bellows beach was, it was a place we could all enjoy, a place where I could listen to waves crashing on the shore, wind blowing through the tall trees, and forget about about all my worries because there, they no longer existed. One of the most memorable times I went to Bellows was when I stayed in a tent for two nights family and best friend, we would take walks on the beach until the sun disappeared behind the mountain and roast marshmallows on the crackling fire. I woke up every morning with the sun, and swam in the powerful waves, that would push me to the shore every afternoon after breakfast. When the sun began to go down, we laid our clothes on the close line and argued about who would shower in the warm water before it got all used up for the evening. When night fell, we would wrap up in our sleeping bags and "sshh" each other to go to sleep because some of us were worn out from the long day while others seemed nocturnal, but ready for even more fun the next day. Going to Bellows beach almost every chance I got really taught me a lot about the bond that family and friends can have with one another. Most of all, it taught me not to take things that bring you endless happiness for granted, at any moment the Army can station my dad in a different state or country and Bellows beach will seem like another distant place I had to leave behind, just like some places in Texas. So the next time, I go to Bellows and dig my toes in the sand and gaze at the ocean I will never neglect to remember how special this place is to me. |
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Querencia: Special Place (1st draft)
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Great essay overall. You explained how you feel throughout the essay and how bellows beech looked like as your Quenica from your perspective. Overall I don't see a way for your essay could improve.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading about you Querencia, the wording and detail put into the story was great. I could really hear your voice in through words. I believe this does not need improvement. Great job!
ReplyDelete~ Mahra.
MS(3+) EXCELLENT ROUGH DRAFT. MY ONLY TWO SUGGESTIONS, AVOID STARTING WITH A QUOTE THAT YOU HAVE NO EXPLANATION TO AND MY SECOND IS TELL US EXACTLY WHY THIS BEACH IS SPECIAL TO YOU COMPARED TO ANY OTHER BEACH YOU HAVE BEEN TO. WHAT SEPARATES THIS PLACE FROM EVERY OTHER PLACE YOU HAVE BEEN TO.
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